Another great day and also how you know when you should have a relationship with someone or renew a relationship which means allowing their problems to become yours.
First my day was great which began with my friend and I having fun baking and getting ready for the Hanukkah (also spelled Chanukah) party.
Then a very special friend of mine came by and give me a wonderful Hanukkah present; a box which read “Chanukah to Go!” When I opened it up, inside was a menorah, a box of Chanukah candles and a dreidel. The menorah looks beautiful lit for the 4th night as I am writing this. So now I have another special menorah that I will use every year. I have such wonderful friends.
Another friend of mine is coming over for my homemade lox and bagels for a Hanukkah celebration and then we are going to the new Peterson museum which just reopened. It is an amazing automobile museum which was remodeled with new classic and other types of cars and interactive displays. I just love Los Angeles.
The weather has been beautiful too and I have been taking some long walks and also working out so I stay in shape during this holiday season. Another friend of mine showed me some new exercises which focus on my legs. Already they are showing more definition and getting more muscular.
***I love being free and independent so when do you know when you meet someone if you should get to know them better OR if your children or others from your past want to reunite if you should?
The answer is quite simple and reasonable.
If a person is unreasonable, rude, has an alcohol problem, is depressed, has a drug problem, an internet problem or any other negative problem or obsession or several of these problems AND REFUSES to get help, then stay away from them.
I say that because if they are so STUBBORN or NARCISSISTIC and refuse to admit that they have serious problems; then their problems will become YOURS.
You cannot control what someone else does but when someone cannot control their OWN behavior and you get involved with them; their problems will become yours.
They will just have one problem after another and so will you because they refuse to get to the ROOT of their problem by having competent therapy, reading appropriate books and doing other helpful things AND associating with people who have good values.
They have to be WILLING TO CHANGE their negative habits and behaviors and ONLY then, after you see that they ACT like they want to make these changes, not just tell you, then you can help them and slowly start to be friendly.
Their problems will not become yours because they will be learning how to get rid of their problems. Make sure you see progress and they are following a serious and reasonable program before you get too involved.
Well, I hope this is helpful. This is how I live my life and so do many of my friends. We are happy, healthy, in shape and making many positive accomplishments DAILY. All of these behaviors make us feel good. Also, when we have a problem we get help.
You can do this too; if you are willing.
As always, none of this is legal or any other advice.
-By Sara Hassman, Parental Alienation Solutions, Founder;www.PAlienation.org