Being a Good Parent to your Children is Different than Being a Good Friend

A good parent GUIDES their children so they LEARN and UNDERSTAND how to be respectful, kind, civil, resourceful and honest. They also try to help them become strong and independent so they are less likely not to be used and taken advantage of by others; however; protecting them from their own father (mother) who has alienated them from their loving Mother at the time of divorce and stolen her money so she is unable to help them financially as they are all abused too was not even imagined and never part of these lessons. A loving Mother (father) would not even THINK this could ever happen.

***A good parent does not ALLOW disrespectful, unkind and dishonest behavior because this does not help the child develop good values and character.
A reasonable parent teaches their children to get away from people who lie and cheat and also harm others like the Rabbis and many Jewish leaders have been doing since the 1970’s; and as author Stephen Fried shows; the Jews do not care. [Stephen Fried, bestselling author http://www.palienation.org/the-new-rabbi-by-s-friedchpt-2-rabbi-gerald-wolpe-aiding-parental-alienation/ ].

My children know how my youngest son (their brother or himself) was forced to live in those horrible conditions on a bare mattress without sheets and blankets on a cement floor and he has a heart condition too!!! He was also forced to do other horrible things.

What kind of father and step-mother would allow these living conditions and also criticize me, the loving Mother for complaining and trying to change the situation? (this is all very well documented).
***My ex-husband and his new wife each got RESTRAINING ORDERS against ME saying my emails sent trying to rectify this abusive situation of my MINOR son was HARASSING THEM. This is all on public records and there are many photographs and emails too.
Dr. Phil even showed one of the photos at the taping of the show in August 2013. ***Sick, delusional alienating parents and their “helpers” try to make the person trying to reveal the TRUTH look delusional when it is THEM who are very psychologically and emotionally sick and need help. [http://www.palienation.org/background/]***

A good, responsible parent tries to teach their children important lessons so when THEY grow up they know how to be REASONABLE and RESPONSIBLE adults. They have been behaving this way all their life so they just continue what they have been doing. The loving, reasonable and responsible Mother (father) gives them a wonderful FOUNDATION with which to enrich themselves and others all through life.

This is what a loving, reasonable and responsible parent does; no excuses!!! You either teach reasonable, kind, honest behavior or you don’t.

Thus, at times a child may be angry with their loving, REASONABLE parent for not allowing them to do something that is not reasonable or is unsafe; like cussing or being rude and disrespectful or riding their bike on the highway.

***But, part of being a loving, RESPONSIBLE parent is doing what is REASONABLE and in the BEST INTEREST of your child even if they do not understand when you try to explain. A good parent is not trying to be their child’s friend at the COST of allowing them to do unreasonable, unsafe things to please an unreasonable child.

***A good parent has reasonable STANDARDS for the child to meet; not for the parent to lower their reasonable standards to do what the child unreasonably wants.

I am talking about basic values of respect, honesty, kindness, helping one another and developing compassion. Remember, a parent has MATURED in many more ways than their children.
Of course it is important to be flexible for decisions like what outfit to wear or what haircut to have or what movie to watch and things like that. But the reasonable standards of respect, honesty, kindness and helping one another do not change.
This is the ESSENCE of our being. A wise man who is a public figure reinforced this lesson to me after I was divorced and was recovering from my seizures due to the disrespect and emotional abuse I suffered from.
As he encouraged; I was and still hold strong to my values of respect, honesty and kindness and helping one another NOT manipulating or harming others; that is abuse.

During this time I was learning about parental alienation and how the alienating father was lying and manipulating the children and I was very, very distraught.
I have lost a lot of respect for this man because he refuses to help me and my children; even though he is in a position to help us which would also help him. He has repeatedly chosen to go along and ignore all of this abuse and corruption.
Why?
Do you think he has been paid off in some way and is financially benefiting? Why would he do this? Remember, as a parent, especially in situations of parental alienation; our children must be given time to see the truth ON THEIR OWN.
Trust that they know right from wrong and will do what is right, moral and just. It is very painful because many teens and young adults DON’T WANT TO LISTEN and will make mistakes that could have been avoided but; they will learn from their mistakes which will help form their values and character.

My Daughter has a motorcycle because her father, who pays over $700/month for his new wife’s Lexus and has a second car he allows his step-daughter to use; has been neglecting the needs of his OWN children and makes them beg for every penny they receive so they will “obey” him.
My daughter is doing the best she can and can’t afford a car.

I understand and feel so badly for her and her brothers too; especially her younger brother since he has been deprived of so many things and emotional support being the youngest when the divorce occurred. You know my ex-husband MARK F. HASSMAN swore under oath many times that he is “insolvent” even though he has concealed MILLIONS of dollars assets and MILLIONS of dollars of distributions from our divorce which has been discussed on public records and is on many court documents. He along with his Newport Beach Law Firm made many “mistakes” as he stated.

However, it is quite telling that neither my ex-husband MARK F. HASSMAN, his new religious Born Again Christian wife, MIKEL SANDERS-PERSKY who have greatly benefited from these “mistakes” along with his Newport Beach Law Firm and others who have benefited from these “mistakes” have not even tried to rectify their “mistakes.”

They just continue to take advantage of me and my children who are doing the best to survive financially and emotionally. It is pure evil aside from being unlawful and definitely not how a loving, reasonable, responsible parent and step-mother should behave.

Do you REALLY believe my ex-husband MARK F. HASSMAN, who is a CPA, CFO, Financial Consultant and Harvard Business School grad who made millions during our marriage now claims he is “insolvent” and does not have any assets, any retirement, any savings, any pension plans even though there are millions of dollars of concealed assets including trusts, many companies, homes, investments, retirement accounts and savings?

He and his Newport Beach attorneys refused to provide the requested accounting for all of these assets but all of them signed the judgment for our divorce and the law firm representing me told me to sign it too; which was during the time I was recovering from my seizures and emotional abuse.
I hired my law firm to represent me honestly, not to cheat me out of assets I was entitled to receive but never did receive.
Where do you think these millions of dollars of concealed assets are? Who do you think has them?

***Do you honestly believe my law firm, my ex-husband’s law firm and my CPA, CFO, Financial Consultant and Harvard Business School grad did not realize all these assets were left off the judgment even a home when they knew we did not live on the street?

I have received many comments and have read articles too how lawyers have cheated their clients. I hope many understand how they work together and apparently make deals for “themselves” in violation of the law as my case clearly shows. This is just the tip of the iceberg too.

It is just most divorced women do not figure it out.
It is more obvious in my case because there are millions of dollars of assets, including homes, companies, trusts, 401k plans and other investments; even significant delayed tax refunds being deposited directly into the joint account of my ex-husband and his new wife.
The IRS and others are aware of all this and it is on public records and clearly stated on several of their joint tax returns.

My ex-husband and I showed over $2.5 million dollars on our joint tax returns for income Only for the last 6 years of our marriage too. His fairly recent marriage could not possibly have all those refunds accrued; but my ex-husband MARK F. HASSMAN, who is a CPA, CFO, Financial Consultant and Harvard Business School grad thinks he is so clever.
Remember, my ex-husband MARK F. HASSMAN also published in the Harvard Business School Alumni magazine in December 2009 which was right after the divorce;
“…The recession leaves little room to make excuses about lack of time to work out. I’ve got a sprint event on Catalina Island soon….”
Do you think a reasonable person will believe he is now “insolvent” and legally had my spousal support eliminated too?

Others who have “helped” my “insolvent” ex-husband MARK F. HASSMAN and are part of his “Chain of Fools;” still refuse to exercise THEIR OWN FREE WILL and rectify any of these “mistakes” as my ex-husband called them on public records.
***Think they will be viewed as reasonable or do you think they have legally obligations too? Think the money and hidden assets have not been traced to them? Think this can’t be proven?
***Think I should just go away and lead my life forgetting about all this and my Children too?

This is what I am rectifying as a reasonable, responsible, loving person and Mother would do.
Remember, my ex-husband has over $210,000 in student loans (this is not a typo, over $210,000) so what do you think he is doing with the money until it becomes due? Now that he is “insolvent;” he has left my Children with the responsibility of paying it all back. What a guy!!! But this is just the tip of the iceberg. How do you think he qualified for many of these Federal student loans?

I am sure my Children will be fine and will continue to learn many important lessons.
________________________________
FOR MY OLDEST: You are more financially secure partially because you are the oldest and you had your education and many things paid for before the divorce that your brother and sister did not.

I know you are more financially secure and have a car too partially due to having those advantages; not being saddled with some of their issues.
Would you please, just until I get my money and pay you back; just help your sister and brother with their basic necessities. If you were the youngest and not the oldest; you would be in their position.
Also, remember how close all of you were and how much you were looked up to also as the oldest.
Please try to financially help each other so they can get a car too and not drive a motorcycle and afford other basic things they need. Please help each other financially and I will pay you back.
FOR ALL OF MY CHILDREN:
***Remember how close all of you were. Please help each other emotionally and be supportive of each other if you are reasonable and respectful which I am hopeful all of you are since I raised you.
I know boys you were in the same fraternity so I am sure you understand the importance of being supportive of each other.
Please help your sister too.
Remember, I am here to help you also if you are respectful, kind and honest towards me as you were before the divorce.
__________________________________________________ *** I miss my Children very much but; if they are not ready to have a respectful, kind and honest relationship then it is better that we don’t because then my seizures will return.
***My Children know I am always here for them when they want to have a respectful, kind and honest relationship and have a lot of fun like we used to. The ultimatums and disrespectful behavior I cannot tolerate and what reasonable person would want to anyway?

***One should always be respectful and honest; no excuses. Even for people you do not respect, you can respectfully tell them you are not interested in being their friend because you do not respect how they treat others or whatever the reason is.
You do not LOWER yourself to their standards;
HOLD STRONG TO YOUR HIGH REASONABLE STANDARDS.

Loving parents try to help their children develop good values of honesty, kindness and respect and use their special talents and skills to reach THEIR potential.
Everyone is different.
I remember my daughter thought I was going to be disappointed because she chose to take a different honors class than the math one her older brother chose. I explained to her that she is a different person and if she is more interested in a different subject, then by all means she should take the class SHE is interested in not the one her brother took. ***Thus, being a good parent involves respecting the INDIVIDUALITY of each of your children and their own special interests and abilities.

When our children become adults they have to be WILLING to help themselves make worthwhile accomplishments.
THEIR LIFE is THEIR JOURNEY involving THEIR CHOICES as we have our own journey and our own choices to make.
We can offer suggestions if they WANT our advice. If they don’t; then they will have to figure things out for themselves without the benefit of our knowledge and experiences. This is often not reasonable but; that is their prerogative.

***When people are comfortable with themselves, they do not feel threatened by asking others THEY RESPECT their thoughts because this ENRICHES THEM; if they respect that person only.
I have several different friends who I talk to regularly and we discuss many important topics. They each have a different expertise and experiences so when I have a question about a topic regarding their expertise or experiences; I welcome the advice they give me.
This is a beautiful friendship.

As our children become adults, we can develop more of a friendship but a loving, caring, reasonable, responsible parent will always have the best interest of their children at heart and will always tell them the TRUTH and try to help them.

I know I am a loving, caring, reasonable, responsible parent and I am sure my Children will realize this one day as I continue on MY journey making many more worthwhile accomplishments.

I hope one day our paths will cross when they decide to be respectful, honest and kind towards me as they used to be before the divorce occurred.

I will not lower MY STANDARDS to please them or other unreasonable, unkind and untruthful people. This will only make me sick again and bring more abuse to this world.

I believe in making our world a better place for everyone based on love and reasonable behaviors.

-By Sara Hassman, Parental Alienation Solutions, Founder, www.PAlienation.org

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