DR PHIL is also showing how abusive, alienating parents look at Divorce
DR PHIL is also showing how abusive, alienating parents look at divorce from a financial perspective instead of doing what is best for the CHILDREN as a loving, caring healthy parent would do.
Many have commented on this article and I thought it was very important to post here.
As the in early posts discussed, these abusive, alienating parents try to lie and misrepresent the truth by acting like they are “saving” or “protecting” their children from their horrible other parent when this other parent is truly loving and caring. This is all part of their DELIBERATE brainwashing scheme.
1-As a result of becoming much more concerned about their OWN selfish and sick needs and concerns instead of doing what is best for their children (like they used to do for many years); these abusive, alienating parents are no longer loving, compassionate or caring. They now also think their way is the only way which is why the kind, caring and loving alienated parent can no longer reason with them and divorce is imminent if the loving parent wants to maintain his or her respectful values, character and not be controlled.
2-It is important to understand the sick (not bad), abusive, alienating parents’ thought process so we can educate children and others how not to fall prey. These unhealthy, abusive, alienating parents figure that if they can get their children to hate or fear their other parent, they will chose me for custody and I will not have to pay child support and can also get many other financial and tax benefits. Plus, I can also harm my ex-spouse who disobeyed me because she or he would not let me have control and would not do what I said. So now, I will have the children I can control and who will support my actions. I can brainwash them to think and act like me and alienate their other parent because I want them to and will DEMAND it. If they don’t listen I will “punish” them in many ways; emotionally, financially and sometimes physically.
(To those who are not familiar with parental alienation, this is what is actually happening in millions of divorces today as many doctors and other experts have verified. It is so horrible to think a parent would behave this way, but; they are sick and use their children as their pawns or objects and do not love them. It may be hard to face this cold, hard truth but if we want to help these millions of children, future generations and society; we must).
3-In situations where the abusive, alienating parent has secretly, financially pre-planned for the divorce so the loving, alienated parent did not receive the money and assets from the marriage that she or he should have; the children feel even more indebted to this abusive, alienating parent for their financial survival as well as their emotional survival. We can reasonably understand how a child will listen to a parent if this parent agrees to pay for their college tuition or give them money for other things they want and need when their other parent can’t afford to do these things. Alienated children, especially teens and young adults, are reasonably scared and are concerned about their financial well-being. Again, this is why the abusive, alienating parent wants to financially destroy the loving parent and make them suffer or APPEAR to be suffering, so the children will think they cannot turn to their other parent for financial or emotional support. Instead, they can only rely on him or her and must “obey” his demands. It is so evil because these children essentially become this abusive parent’s slave.
4-Remember, people have a pattern of behavior and if they are liars and manipulators they are this way in most, if not all aspects of their life. Just as good, kind people are this way in most, if not all aspects of their life. This is their character. With that being said:
- I am still trying to give the father (my ex-husband) & step-mother the benefit of the doubt. Still no word since August when the DR PHIL show was filmed. Lied???
- Don’t they want to work together to help our daughter resolve her issues she mentioned on the show; support the mother/daughter reunification they said they wanted to on the show; make holiday plans so BOTH of us will have time to see our daughter?
- Isn’t this what loving, caring parents do especially, when they appear on National television and tell DR PHIL this is what they want to do?I still haven’t heard from my beautiful daughter either but:
- I believe my beautiful daughter really does want to have me back in her life as she told DR PHIL, but; is she being controlled? Is this why she has not even responded to my kind email and voicemail wishing her a nice holiday?
- Is she too busy to take 1 or 2 minutes out of her day to send an email or make a phone call? She said she was interested in renewing our relationship.
- Is she in denial as some think and afraid for some reason to act as she said she wants?
- Alienated children also lie because they think they NEED TO in order to survive due to the brainwashing. It is so evil.
So , PLEASE, remember to have empathy since alienated children of parental alienation have been forced to give up their freedom of thought and behavior and have become a “slave” to this abusive, alienating parent (or father and step-mother, it appears). They need time to see the truth and hopefully with more awareness, we can begin to empower children so they do not fall prey to the abusive, alienating parent’s deliberate schemes of control and brainwashing. Also, others will understand and be better able to help them.
Please realize that parental alienation is happening in YOUR backyard which is why there are millions of suffering children today,FROM ALL WALKS OF LIFE, and many violent outbreaks in our society.
6-Who can these children turn to?
NOT their teachers, coaches, religious leaders or other family members anymore. These people have shown they can’t be trusted and many have shown they are abusive too. Plus, many do not understand this brainwashing and what the child abuse of parental alienation is about.
Thus, we need to keep bringing awareness to the laws and policies in many schools, religious institutions and other organizations as well as the dysfunctional personality disorders and other psychological disorders of the abusive, alienating parents and those who aid them, which is driving this parental alienation. As more become aware of this abuse, it will be easier to stop and help MILLONS of children, families and society heal.
This is the cold, hard truth.
Congresswoman Karen Bass’ office is still evaluating my proposed legal and policy changes and changes to the state institutions designed to help children which a colleague of mine proposed at the meeting. I hope to have some information to pass along to you soon.
7-As we approach Thanksgiving, am so grateful to DR PHIL for giving us the opportunity to not only SHOW the behaviors of those suffering from parental alienation but also have a therapist try to resolve the issues and reason with a child who appears to be brainwashed, controlled and some think, in denial also.
AS HORRIBLE AS THIS IS, we must bring awareness to this abuse if we want to help eliminate it.
Sometimes we have to sacrifice our own comfort. However, if this can potentially help millions and society, it is well worth it.
Being kind and understanding with an open heart will enable us to maintain our values, self-respect and accomplish positive things; still missing our children but living life to its fullest and creating new happy memories with kind, respectful, compassionate people.
I would also like to thank many of you for your e-cards, “likes” to Parental Alienation Solutions, Facebook page, friend and Linkedin requests and comments too: Renee, Robert, Dijude, William, Mia, Hilary, Leon, Lola, Samina, Jim, Rene, Sara, Kathlene, Tracy and so many others.
It is greatly appreciated and very helpful.
I hope you have an evening filled with peace, kindness and truth.
-By Sara Hassman, Parental Alienation Solutions, Founder, www.PAlienation.org