Equanimity and a Cherokee Indian story.

Equanimity is a state of balance, even-mindedness, a sense of stability and calm amidst the changing nature of life.

All of us have the ability to have equanimity and it can also be cultivated.

Equanimity is cultivated by noticing that things CHANGE. 
If the change is positive then learn to accept it; but if the change is negative and causes harm; ENGAGE in actions for justice using a mind of equanimity.

To develop equanimity realize that when you lose control of situations or lose control of physical acts you used to be able to do because you have an illness or due to old age; this can be a very positive thing because: 1)it will help you develop new perspectives and ;2) new routines 3)with new people.

DON’T BE AFRAID OF CHANGE, EMBRACE IT!!!

To develop equanimity remember first and foremost: You cannot control what others do or don’t do. Those who try to control others commonly resort to acts of manipulation instead of accepting this fact and living a life of equanimity. Their life becomes ENDLESS acts of manipulations, false images and deception which is VOID of any equanimity. Thus, they become very tense, angry, insecure, corrupt, unhappy people.

Also, remember it is important to make positive changes to your habits, values and character as you learn from your experiences and hopefully enrich your soul. This will help you develop equanimity.

Do NOT accept yourself as you are because you always need to make positive changes as you go through the many stages of life and interact with different types of people. Positive change is growth and without growth you will remain stagnant and this will make you feel insecure and not give you equanimity. 

Ask yourself if you are now a more relaxed, kind, happy, respectful, honest person than you were last week? If not, make positive changes and STOP TRYING TO CONTROL OTHERS and CONCERN YOURSELF WITH WHAT OTHERS WILL THINK.

***Do what you know is moral, honest and just. Be an individual with an independent mind. This will bring you equanimity.

Some self-observation questions:
What situations help you trigger or maintain equanimity? (exercising, drawing, cooking, helping others, reading, writing etc.)

The following is a very enriching Cherokee Indian story which is similar to the theme of Herman Hesse’s classic novel “Steppenwolf.”
One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside of people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ in me. It is a terrible fight. One is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego. The other is joy, peace, love, hope serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather; “which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied; “The one I feed.”

As always none of this is legal or any other advice, it is just based on my knowledge and experiences.
-By Sara Hassman, Parental Alienation Solutions, Founder;www.PAlienation.org

Parental Alienation Solutions's photo.
Parental Alienation Solutions's photo.

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