For all the LONELY PEOPLE, including girls, teens and young adults; did you know that many men USE SEX AS A TOOL TO CONTROL AND INTIMIDATE OTHERS?
So, if you think that because you have a boyfriend or because you have sex that you are being “loved,” that all depends on if you are honest and respectful with each other and only having sex with each other; not others.
Unfortunately, many men today do not know how to love and just use sex as a means to feel powerful and controlling. They don’t want to learn to love or are AFRAID to learn to love because then they will have to ANALYZE THEIR PAST and figure out why they have a need to control instead of being honest, respectful and compassionate so they can enjoy many things and not be afraid to love anymore.
They have to WANT to change their deceitful behavior and WANT to be known to have good values and character which means doing things to help others because they WANT TO; not because they expect some benefit.
Don’t let a man tell you that because they did this for you; you need to have sex with them. Just get away from him and never feel pressured to have sex if you don’t want to; even if this means finding a new job.
When you love someone and BOTH of you really care about each other’s best interest and would never intentionally try to harm each other; sex then becomes an expression of your inner feelings; not something someone expects as a favor.
Also, never think that if you have a baby that a bad relationship will grow stronger. It won’t because having a baby is a huge responsibility and if you aren’t getting along; having more complex issues to deal with will only make the relationship worse.
It has been proven that the 2 main reasons a marriage or other relationships fall apart is due to either money or sex. So make sure you both understand and AGREE to your spending habits, like if you want to save for your children’s education and your own retirement; and that you insist on being loyal and not wanting to wonder where each other is if they are telling you they are working late or just aren’t with you.
SET YOU BOUNDARIES and EXPECT HONEST COMMUNICATION. If you can’t then you know you need to get rid of this boyfriend or partner. If you don’t then you will have more and more problems which is why many people are not happy in their relationships. Be strong and get out of a bad relationship that is not bringing you happiness and love.
Don’t get into one when you know the person is not honest and sincere; the sex will not make it last and will only leave you with more problems.
***Money and other material things will not make you happy in the long run; only kindness, respect and love will which are things you cannot buy. (Remember the Beatles’ song “Money can’t buy me love”)
Don’t just jump into another relationship. Instead, give yourself time to heal and enjoy your own hobbies and work on your own goals.
I love my single life in Los Angeles and will only give it up if the right man comes along.
***When you know you don’t need a man to make you feel happy then you are more likely to find what you are looking for and not be manipulated or charmed into believing lies and insincere acts.
Also, know you are a special person and have a lot to offer and take good care of yourself both physically and mentally. If you need therapy, which most people do at different times of their life, go get it. Then you too will be more likely to find what you are looking for and not be manipulated or charmed into believing lies and insincere acts.
Most of all, you must live the life of an honest, compassionate, sincere, person yourself so you will attract that kind of person to you.
-By Sara Hassman, Parental Alienation Solutions, Founder;www.PAlienation.org