Forgiveness, Habits, Parental Alienation and other forms of Abuse
People with great potentials who are well educated and have highly regarded professional titles seem to describe many alienating parents and those who aid them in helping to destroy the sacred parent/child relationship with the loving parent creating Parental Alienation.
But, do you think this is the only abuse caused by these people? If so, think again as I will explain.
These alienating parents and those who assist them are knowingly, intentionally, and intelligently aware and have also been repeatedly informed of the severe harms their strategies of parental alienation are causing.
- They have been referred to websites, articles, books, videos and other sources.
- In addition, as educated and successful individuals they should know it is in the best interest of children of divorce to have independent relationships with BOTH loving parents.
RATIONALIZING THEIR LIES- they rationalize that the alienated parent, who is truly the loving one, should be feared or hated knowing this is a lie. Commonly, the alienated, loving parents have such good behavior patterns that alienators and those assisting them have to file false allegations, get restraining orders which Judges issue routinely upon request, and do other things to make this loving, alienated parent look unfit.
NARCISSISTIC & BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDERS-As Les Linet, MD and many other parental alienation experts have found, alienating parents have narcissistic and even borderline personality disorders:
-They feel a need to control and deceive & even destroy those who they are unable to control. These are not bad people; they are sick individuals who have control, empathy, and insecurity issues and often are in positions of power.
-As these experts and cases have shown, they are working together with others like them (often have these same disorders), to promote their own agendas despite the harm they cause children and others. Anyone who gets in their way is viewed as collateral damage and they will try to destroy them. As the facts show, parental alienation has destroyed many children and alienated parents creating many psychological and medical issues and even being the cause of many suicides.
-When they cry in movies, they often are crying for themselves. They cry because they identify with characters in a movie, not because they have empathy.
So, why won’t these powerful, intelligent narcissistic people change their destructive ways?
-Due to their successes, they feel they know more than most people and refuse to seek help to overcome their issues. Instead, they believe they are right and everyone else is wrong so it is very difficult and often impossible to reason with them.
Where did they go wrong?
-Some are bored or lazy and instead of coming out of their comfort zone and finding a new hobby or interest, they prey on innocent children.
USING POWER & MONEY-Many use their power & money to get these vulnerable children to believe they need them to survive and so they better obey them; this includes alienating their loving parent and other abuses.
HABITS-As the bestselling book “The Power of Habit, why we do what we do in life and business” by Charles Duhigg explains; a person’s behaviors are repeated in all areas of his or her life.
This explains why alienating parents and those aiding them not only lie to the children, but often also file false allegations, false tax returns, and are friends and colleagues with others who behave the same way. They hide or keep secrets since they know they could be faced with legal, tax and other penalties or sanctions. Unless, they address this abusive and destructive behavior, they will just continue it as this acclaimed book explains.
CONTROL- now not only do these parents control those in their profession; now they have control of these innocent children in their personal lives.
INSECURITY-This control makes them feel very secure, as if they are a king or queen with an entourage or many followers. In reality, they are very sick, cowards who are preying on innocent children and others often for monetary or tax benefits and for other selfish, destructive reasons.
FORGIVENESS- only if these people engage, not merely attend, but engage in therapy with a reputable professional or program AND take the necessary steps as Duhigg’s book explains, will positive changes result…
FREEWILL- these people have the freewill to willingly make these changes. If they choose to continue abusing these children and others, I cannot forgive them but only feel sorry for them and disgusted since they know better.
FORGE FORWARD-We must continue with our efforts to bring out the truth about Parental Alienation and other abuses, so HOPEFULLY these people will want to change and realize they need to. Then I can FORGIVE them and even PRAISE them for overcoming their problems. Now I just feel sorry for them and I am disgusted by their behaviors.
THEY WILL EVENTUALLY DESTROY THEMSELVES- As the world renowned author Dostoyevsky, in Crime & Punishment supports; the horrible, sinful behavior of alienating parents and those who help them in destroying the sacred parent/child bond or even just ignore this horror and abuse, will eventually destroy their own souls. Hopefully, this will happen or they will change before many more children and others suffer from their abusive ways, including, but not limited to, Parental Alienation.
We must lead by example because we can make a difference and already are.
-by Sara Hassman, Parental Alienation Solutions, Founder; www.palienation.org; see website for references-