If People, Even Your Own Relatives do Not want to be Reasonable and Instead do Harmful Things
When you try to teach others positive, reasonable thoughts and reasonable behaviors and they do not want to learn then you have TWO CHOICES.
You can either continue to associate with them and allow yourself to be negatively influenced by their disrespectful, demeaning, controlling and often corrupt ways OR you can choose not to associate with them anymore. ***This includes family members.
It is unreasonable to choose to allow ANYONE to harm you; no excuses!!! If you are a big brother or a big sister or a parent or a friend; you can only feel responsible for another person to a point. When the point comes where they are UNWILLING to make positive changes then move on without them or THEY WILL HOLD YOU BACK. This is when I separated from my ex-husband because he refused to reasonably make positive changes and I could not reason with him.
***If people are unreasonable and you choose to be with them; they will literally make you physically sick and unhappy and will take away your beautiful character, preventing you from reaching your beautiful potential.
Personally, I am so much better without my unreasonable parents and cousins along with my unreasonable ex-husband as the facts and court cases clearly show their unreasonableness. I am so grateful for all the positive things I have done and continue to do. Also, remember it is fun to meet new people and do new things in a new city; so don’t be afraid.
Healthy, positive people also want to be with people who will guide them honestly instead of watching them make a mistake; knowing they could have easily helped them understand, learn and grow and avoid the mistake. These type of emotionally sick people often tell you how great they are and how you should listen to them; again, it is all about Control; which you don’t need. You don’t need to be controlled by anyone and should want to be free to make you OWN decisions.
Also, you don’t want to be with people who keep secrets so you understandably are uncomfortable and not relaxed. A good relationship involves openness and honesty otherwise you will be very nervous and not have peace of mind. Again, you will also probably get physically sick not knowing what is being said behind your back while they pretend to be nice to you. This is no way to live.
So show your INDEPENDENCE and don’t feel the need to go with the crowd or jump on the bandwagon when you know what the crowd and those on the bandwagon are doing is not positive, healthy and reasonable.
It is each of our own individual responsibility to set our own boundaries so when people treat us in a disrespectful, hurtful way; we tell them to stop.
If they refuse then a reasonable person will not associate with them anymore because if they do; they will only be hurt more. This is not reasonable.
So never be afraid to be reasonable, set your boundaries and spend time with those who are also reasonable and have good values; also knowing spending time alone can be fun too.
Just make sure you have a nice balance.
-By Sara Hassman, Parental Alienation Solutions, Founder, www.PAlienation.org