If You Face Your Problems They Will Shape You, Not Scar You
To be a responsible person and face your problems you must understand 3 things:
1-what or who caused your problems
2-why were they caused
3-and how you can avoid having these problems occur again.
For example; why do millions of children believe since around the time of their parents’ divorce they should alienate their loving mother (father) forever?
Who put this thought into the children’s mind?
So the alienating parent will not have to pay child support, have total control over the children or for other reasons too?
Why are the children listening? Are they being paid to listen and fearful that if they don’t they will be cut off financially or suffer other harms?
All these questions must be answered HONESTLY by the children and each parent if they want the problem of parental alienation to shape them and not scar them.
Don’t expect the alienating parent to honestly answer any questions privately, with a therapist or any other way because they want to continue to lie, use and abuse.
Also, they think they are omniscient and know everything anyway. They are not opened minded and have the attitude that if you disagree with them, they will try to destroy you. This is narcissistic.
I was also taught to recognize the signs and characteristics of a narcissist because as many experts have shown; alienating parents and those who aid them usually have narcissistic personality disorders. Thus, it was important for me to recognize these signs so I would not be harmed by a narcissist again.
Narcissists are usually very charming and seem wonderful but they are very cunning, controlling, manipulative and do not care about the wellbeing of others, only about themselves. Narcissists can change if they are willing and truly put forth the effort; but very few ever do.
***Don’t go through life expecting others to change; accept what is.
Just keep changing YOURSELF so you keep becoming the best person YOU can be, learning, developing and improving all of the time. Then you will meet others who are worth your while, as you keep your eyes open for those narcissistic signs so you can avoid those people. They will not help you grow in positive ways; only use and abuse you and you deserve to be with those who want to be kind, caring, honest and compassionate.
If not I, then who?
-By Sara Hassman, Parental Alienation Solutions, Founder, www.PAlienation.org