If you want to keep your actions or feelings a secret, this should be a warning to you that either you should not be doing those things OR you are a coward who is afraid to be a REASONABLE INDEPENDENT person because you are foolishly concerned about what unreasonable, immoral and/or corrupt people will think.
In 1985 when I, with the support of reasonable, wise, compassionate judges, professionals and others, sued my parents, sister and their lawyer for secretly using my social security number to evade taxes; many relatives, friends and others in my community disassociated themselves with me and to this day, over 30 years later, still do.
It is because many of these people use their own children or other secret means to evade taxes themselves. I am so much better off without associating with any of them while I hold my head up high being very PROUD of my values and character for following the law and being moral.
We can only control our own actions. If we CHOOSE with our own free will to succumb to the crooked, unreasonable, immoral ways of others, we will become just like them. I refuse.
I also refuse to placate others by making them think I agree with them when I don’t. I am very proud of my morals and values and WHAT I STAND FOR. If others aren’t; I don’t want to associate with them and I also do not care what they think about me.
Reasonable, honest and compassionate people will see the truth and also you, yourself know the truth. You must be true to YOURSELF by maintaining your good values so you do not become filled with anger, shame and grief due to being a deceiving, two-faced liar, cheater and abuser PRETENDING to agree with everyone. People can see through this and lose respect for you.
More importantly, you lose respect for yourself, even if this is subconsciously. Also, living like this you cannot love because you are so concerned about pleasing others that you do not develop and express your own special character. You are just a coward who will do whatever is necessary to please others WHILE SMOTHERING YOUR OWN THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS.
Thus, some days you act like one type of person, and some days like another and you lose your OWN special, beautiful character. You must be proud to act like yourself AND change any habits that are not moral and positive. This is what maturity and wisdom is about.
To continue to lead a life of unhappiness where you try to please others while sacrificing your own beautiful, special character and your ability to love is not only unwise but is very destructive.
Thus, PROUDLY get rid of all your secrets and be the person YOU want to be where you PROUDLY express your OWN feelings, beliefs and ideas; ALWAYS and CONSISTENTLY. Then you will be proud of the person you truly ARE and what you stand for.
Who knows, maybe some of those others you tried to please will show you a lot of respect and maybe they won’t; but it doesn’t matter what they do; it only matters what YOU do.
As always, none of this is legal or any other advice; it is based upon my knowledge and experience.
-By Sara Hassman, Parental Alienation Solutions, Founder;