Amanda wrote: “I pray that somewhere my children do read something like this. It is awful when their perception of a parent has been altered by the other parent. My ex and his wife have done everything to wipe me out of my children’s lives for the past five years. From telling my kids horrible lies about me, with holding them from their paternal grandparents because they talk to me, to convincing my own mother to plot against me. My son recently added me to Facebook with the only reply from him was i love you too, and as soon as his stepmom found out she blocked me. I can only imagine what the past five years have been like to my kids. It’s been hell for me.”
Judges who limit Fit parents to “visitation” schedules but fail to grant the custody are robbing the children of their God-given parent — and, statistics show — of their best futures. Some judges leave visitation up to the discretion of the children which can even be worse for the children who are “brainwashed.” Steve
Comments from Ica Iova’s article: Sara, you go girl. Keep me posted as well and let me know if I can be of help. Remember PAS Intervention is behind you. Joan
A child rejecting a parent is not a healthy child when there is not a good reason for such rejection. A parent who encourages such rejection is not a healthy parent. Ron
A parent who undermines the other parent to create a psychological bond with the child (at any age of the child’s life), suffers from a personality disorder from all the research I have done, and the child fuses into that personality disorder as well, because the child cannot handle the psychic pain.
In my son’s case it is the narcissistic personality disorder, whereby I have become the “all bad parent”, and as such my son feels no empathy for his behavior towards me, no respect for me, and has taken on his dad’s feelings of hatred toward me. As devastated as I am with losing my only child, who I built my life around, this syndrome will pass to how my son treats his future wife and children.
Hi Maryanne, reading about your life mirrors everyone that has been through PAS, it has to be one of the most evil things you can do to a child, my ex had narcissistic personality disorder and he brainwashed my daughter who is now 26 too, I had to sever all ties with her last year as it was just like being in a relationship with her dad, she started saying things to my grandchildren about me the cycle was not ending – she was not changing so I had to. I told her I loved her and always would but it had been 12 years it was time to stop. You will never ever win with a narcissist they get off on hurting people and being in control, they have no such thing as empathy. From Parents of Adult-Children with Parental Alienation Syndrome
I’ve seen the characteristics present among alienators to a striking degree… the ability to con people, to be charming and confident… I think we need to identify all of the most common personality traits among alienators. Alienation is the result not the cause of the outcome, and until we can see it from the start we won’t see it until it’s too late. I’ve seen Narcissistic Personality Disorder overflowing among alienators. They’re happy, clean, charming, confident, make you feel special about yourself or that they see you as something special (yea, we’re so special because we were too honest and being so, also believed others to be honest too – especially charming warm funny narcissists who make us want all they will give us.)
If you feel ‘pulled’ toward someone and can’t believe you’ve met such a special person who would also think of you as special, it might be time to reassess the person. Remember, nice people can be evil too….ie. Ted Bundy! Liz from Parents of Adult-Children with Parental Alienation Syndrome
I am a targeted parent struggling with the problems which are a part of a situation where the alienated child is an adult and the parent has no recourse – medically, mentally, legally to get the child into treatment
Sherry ; Author; from Parents of Adult-Children with Parental Alienation Syndrome
Thought it might be helpful:
Dr. Gardner makes it plain that PAS occurs when one parent is alienated because of the sole actions of the other, they have done nothing wrong. As a counsellor and a sociologist I have come across reams of information about… I posted this in another group and thought it might be helpful
Gardner makes it plain that PAS occurs when one parent is alienated because of the sole actions of the other, they have done nothing wrong. As a counselor and a sociologist I have come across reams of information about counseling theory, critical social theory, all sorts of theory, but for some reason it rarely seems to cross camps. I can bore you with grief and loss counseling, disenfranchised grief, ambiguous loss, anticipatory loss, blah blah but NO ONE seems to be pulling it together.
The cost is also enormous to society. Families taught to rip each other apart instead of upholding our cultural values, the usual single parent child difficulties compounded by their false hatred for the AP which may later in life turn into untold guilt for the child when they reaslise what they have done. It is setting everybody in the dynamic for a miserable time of it and perhaps failure at a chance of further healthy relationships. We have stats on how divorce affects economic stance of our culture, how grief decreases productivity etc….It seems to me that sometimes the only way we are going to get PAS taken seriously is if we can convert it into some sort of fiscal policy. Well that’s what it is like in Australia.As parents affected by this we are ALL experts.
HELP BY SHARING YOUR STORY, your feelings, your terrible/terrific experiences in counseling/law court/ community.
But above all DON”T GIVE UP on yourself. Jo from from Parents of Adult-Children with Parental Alienation Syndrome
Hi there, I recently reconnected with my son after 10 years of alienation by his father. We are both so happy. Jennifer from Parents of Adult-Children with Parental Alienation Syndrome
Unfortunately this happens. The alienating parent can be so compelling and convincing that Government Agencies, counselors, local police can all become involved without realizing what is really going on. Very sad but true Jo from Parents of Adult-Children with Parental Alienation Syndrome
This has been happening since 2011, and my ex has used the system against me to the extent that  without any findings, or evidence, of  neglect or abuse, and  despite all evaluations of myself as being a good and fit father, I have been denied association with my daughter except for 1 hour visits once a week supervised in an austere room at CPS offices.
I am searched by a police officer in front of her each time, and she is told they are there to protect her from me. She is told that if she speaks about the wrong things, I will go to jail.
This is parental alienation, not just by her mother, but by official action with the power of the state behind it, for two years and no findings of neglect or unfitnesses. By Gary