Stoicism Teaches How to Overcome Destructive Emotions and Behaviors
For the Stoics, REASON meant not only using logic, but also understanding the processes of nature. Living according to reason and virtue, they believed was to live in harmony with the universe and treating everyone in a moral and respectful way. The four cardinal virtues of the Stoic philosophy are wisdom, courage, justice and temperance which are classifications derived from the teachings of Plato.
A primary aspect of Stoicism involves improving a person’s ethical and moral well-being by becoming free from anger, envy, and jealousy and to accept others as equals because all people alike are products of nature; this includes women and children.
As a Stoic philosopher described those who lack the Stoic values of morality and reason because they refuse to live according to reason and accept others as equals as being wicked people who are “like a dog tied to a cart, and compelled to go wherever it goes.”
The Stoics believed that knowledge can be attained through the use of REASON which enables truth to be distinguished from lies and deception. It is only through reason that a clear understanding of truth can be achieved. Since reason is the foundation of both humanity and the universe, it follows that the goal of life is to live according to REASON, which is also according to Nature.
Living with Reason allows a person to be in BALANCE with the Universe.
The Stoics did not seek to extinguish emotions so people were like robots or like the walking dead; rather, they sought to TRANSFORM harmful emotions and obsessions by teaching a person to develop clear judgment and inner peace. Logic, reflection, and concentration were the methods of such self-discipline. Stoic ethics stressed the rule: “Follow where reason leads.” One must therefore strive to be free of the emotions causing anger, control, abuse and suffering.
Following the philosophies of Socrates; the Stoics held that unhappiness and evil are the results of a lack of reason. If someone is unkind, it is because they are unaware of their own universal reason, which leads to the conclusion of kindness. The solution to evil and unhappiness then is the practice of Stoic philosophy—to examine one’s own judgments and behavior and determine where they diverge from the universal reason of nature.
SO HERE IS HOW TO APPLY STOICISM TO YOUR OWN LIFE which will solve your unhappiness and enable you to overcome your immoral behavior and obsessions. To do otherwise is a rejection of your social duty according to Stoicism.
Stoicism is a way of life where you see things as they ARE by remaining in the present moment and not dreaming or making up lies and stories. It also involves the daily reflection on everyday problems and possible solutions which serves as a constant reminder to being reasonable and moral which is helping nature.
In Judaism this is called tikkun olam which means helping to make our world a better place for all not at the expense of some for the enrichment of others; but for the benefit of everyone.
This is why parental alienation and using 501c3 and other agreements to help a sick father destroy the bond between a loving Mother and her Children of all ages at the time of divorce is immoral, abuse and evil according to reasonable philosophies like Stoicism and also Judaism and all other reasonable religions; not those based on terrorism, abuse or initiation of violence.
Stoic practices are similar to what is today called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
This therapy acknowledges that there may be behaviors that cannot be controlled through rational thought, because they have emerge based on PRIOR CONDITIONING from the environment and other external and prior behaviors LEARNED FROM YOUR PAST.
This is one of many reasons why it is very important to stop Parental Alienation so alienated children do not grow up with these abusive behaviors of lying, cheating, scheming and destroying special bonds and relationships people have with one another instead of trying to encourage these relationships.
They also need to learn how to have healthy relationships and not bully and control to try to get what they want. Encouraging the relationships Children of all ages have with their Mother and working through any concerns is reasonable.
Commonly these abusers who create and help perpetuate parental alienation are so full of shame and want others to feel their pain; they refuse to engage in cognitive behavioral therapy or other similar therapy to change their immoral, harmful and obsessive ways. This is when you have to bring them down SO THEY ARE NO LONGER ABLE to destroy our world and nature, like what had to be done with Hitler. This is reasonable. This is also why you have to remain in the “struggle to bring out the truth.”
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy also requires one to evaluate their environment and if it encourages or demands you to commit immoral behavior, corruption or abuse you must leave it.
Classic and acclaimed authors Chaim Potok in “The Chosen” and Franz Kafka in “The Trial” discuss the importance of LEAVING A VERY DYSFUNCTIONAL ENVIRONMENT in order to save your soul and also have a BALANCE within yourself and nature.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy also holds everyone accountable for their progress by evaluating their ACTIONS, not their words. Thought processes drive behaviors so one much change their immoral and destructive thoughts if they are going to have moral and reasonable behaviors, CONSISTENTLY, not just when they feel like it. That is not change but is pretending.
One book I have found very helpful in using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is “The Power of Habit, Why We Do What We Do in Life and in Business” by Charles Duhigg. It was on the bestseller list and is a very worthwhile book to read regarding understanding the importance and how to go about setting reasonable but also challenging goals and holding yourself accountable.
Here is one practice of Stoicism, Reason and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy a Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius describes in his book “Meditations”:
Say to yourself in the early morning: “I shall meet today ungrateful, violent, treacherous, envious, uncharitable men. All of these things have come upon them through ignorance of real good and ill… I can neither be harmed by any of them, for no man will involve me in wrong, nor can I be angry with my kinsman or hate him; for we have come into the world to work together…”
However, understand that “working together” sometimes means bringing them down from their throne of lies and exposing the truth and holding them accountable so they can no longer harm others and our world, if they refuse to change their harmful ways on their own.
Know you have the strength to accomplish this and embrace your challenges knowing God is by your side.
I am a walking MIRACLE to have survived all the emotional abuse caused and still being caused by my ex-husband and those cooperating with him regarding the parental alienation and cheating me out of my property, assets, savings, retirement and other interests from my marriage. Plus, all of my skills came back to enable me to bring out the Truth and bring forth Justice.
Nothing is so productive or enriching to the mind as to be able to examine every challenge that is presented to you in life, and always look at things so as to see at the same time what kind of universe this is, and what kind of use everything performs in it, and what value everything has with reference to the whole.
What is the important goal of reason and morality you want to achieve? As you strive to achieve it you become more and more in balance with the universe and have more and more self-esteem and inner peace.
As I continue to forge forward bringing out the truth and the many parts of parental alienation with a goal of ending it for millions and changing the law. This is reason and also in balance with nature and the universe and also tikkun olam in Judaism which is making our world a better place.
If not I, then who?
Please note; this is not advice of any kind, it is just my understanding.
-By Sara Hassman, Parental Alienation Solutions, Founder; www.PAlienation .org