Trusting Someone, Loving Someone, Making Honest Mistakes and How they Relate
Trusting a person doesn’t make them trustworthy but it is a start and can help them realize the importance of being trustworthy. So start with something small and also ask them to trust you too.
When someone LOVES YOU, they will protect your interests and do what is best for you whether they have an incentive or not.
When someone IS REASONABLE and HAS INTEGRITY, they will protect your interests and do what is best for you whether they have an incentive or not.
Corrupt people always have to have a financial or some other incentive or benefit before they will be trustworthy but; then they can be offered more money or benefits to betray that trust. They are just concerned with themselves and what works for them at that moment. Sometimes they call this “politics” when it is corruption because they are making an accomplishment for themselves at the EXPENSE of someone; TAKING ADVANTAGE of someone; HARMING someone.
Any Choice that leads you away from being all you can be is inherently evil because honest, wise and kind people want you to make many wonderful accomplishments, helping you in any way they can; not using you or deceiving you.
Remember, people are IMPERFECT so they will do things that are wrong but what is important is their INTENT and how they RESPOND which shows their intent.
Did they INTEND to harm another so they can benefit or others can benefit or did they make an HONEST mistake?
If they made an honest mistake they will want to:
1) have a civil conversation,
2) talk about their honest mistake respectfully without ultimatums or demanding you do something, 3) resolve their honest mistake so they can repair the harm, 4) also resolve it so it will not happen again, 5) and move forward so they no longer make that same mistake and if this requires getting professional help, they do it.
They willingly improve their character because this is reasonable.
They will make other mistakes and so will YOU because PEOPLE ARE IMPERFECT.
However, when you TRUST another and respect them and you both are learning and growing through your life experiences; wise people CONTINUALLY respectfully and civilly discuss when they upset you or hurt you and you upset them or hurt them. Then these wise people continually change their behavior IF what upsets and hurts you is REASONABLE.
Not if they want you to harm Children of all ages or harm a loving Mother (father) or deprive a divorced ex-wife of receiving her property and money or her companionship with her Children.
This is unreasonable and also evil and shows many psychological, emotional and other problems of someone who would REPEATEDLY intentionally do this like lawyers, a judge, an accounting firm, joint venture partners, corporate executives, a rabbi, a pastor, a California boarding high school, a new wife, an ex mother-in-law and others.
It further shows their INTENT if they have diligently tried to rectify the harms they have caused or not.
Do they willingly continue to deprive the loving Mother and Children of their legal rights when they could use REASONABLE DILIGENCE and: 1) amend tax returns giving the loving Mother her delayed tax refunds and other delayed tax benefits; 2) amend a divorce judgment giving the loving Mother her property and lawful spousal support award; 3) amend other documents; 4) make phone calls to diligently help the Children and loving Mother reunite 5) and do other acts of restitution?
[Not have a secret meeting like JUDGE CLAUDIA SILBAR swore on April 2, 2014 that without putting the meeting on the docket, met with the “two boys” as she called the spouses’ two children and with the ex-husband ONLY.
Then JUDGE CLAUDIA SILBAR did not find out WHY the two boys “had no interest” in reuniting with their loving Mother who has had a perfect record her entire life of over 50 years and when they made many accomplishments when she was their full time caregiver before the divorce.
To make matters worse, JUDGE CLAUDIA SILBAR did not ask, per her testimony if their father or others had THREATENED the boys to alienate their loving Mother or PROMISED them a lot of money if they alienate their Mother and they will receive this money after the end of some statute of limitations period.
JUDGE CLAUDIA SILBAR did not require the two boys attend therapy to reasonably resolve the reason for their alienation with a therapist who will keep their sessions confidential so they will feel free to express their feelings without fear of repercussions. This is not using REASONABLE DILIGENCE which JUDGE CLAUDIA SILBAR knew or should have known and also known she, to my understanding, has a legal obligation to use. (This is not legal advice, just my understanding).]
So EXPECT your friends and family members to make mistakes and even PROFESSIONALS like Judge Claudia Silbar, Rabbis, Pastors, Corporate Executives, Lawyers, Certified Public Accountants and others like a new wife or ex mother-in-law and expect YOURSELF to make mistakes too.
However, you should NEVER EXPECT them to repeat the mistakes when they know or should know others are being harmed. (The same goes for yourself).
This is abuse and shows THEY have psychological, emotional and other problems they need to address.
Until they do, it is very important for your own health and well being that you get away from them so you will not REPEATEDLY be harmed. This is reasonable so set your reasonable boundaries of respect, integrity, civility and compassion.
It can be wonderful FALLING IN LOVE and working with someone you love, learning TOGETHER to respect each others’ reasonable and positive values and ideas, fusing them so they run together and then blur.
Then you can have a lot of fun celebrating your accomplishments not only being proud of your input but also being proud of the “added value” of your partner.
Without your partner’s added value, your experiences or project would not have been as successful or may not even have been possible. So be grateful for them and express your gratitude; don’t try to control them or take all the credit thinking this shows your power or control.
Remember, you can only share your joy with those who are not threatened by your happiness and success. They truly WANT THE BEST FOR YOU and don’t want to hold you back so they can be the successful one. They want to COMBINE your talents with theirs to make great accomplishments.
They understand sometimes they will lead and sometimes you will lead; depending on the skill or talent required for the task and they welcome this PARTNERSHIP.
When you find that person that is a great friendship and maybe even love.
-By Sara Hassman, Parental Alienation Solutions, Founder; www.PAlienation.org