Try this exercise of LOVE which is for Everyone, including Children Of All Ages who since the time of divorce have Not had a relationship with their Mother or Father.
First, be in a relaxing place, maybe with some soft music you enjoy and with some tea or coffee too. Sit back and just enjoy your surroundings.
Second despite what others may have told you; YOU ARE NOT A WORTHLESS PERSON because YOU HAVE GREAT POTENTIAL. If you do not believe me, think of all the SPECIAL TALENTS you have as I will explain.
I am sure many of you reading this have special ABILITIES. For example; are you ATHLETIC; have you been LEADERS in dorms, at work or in other places where you HAVE HELPED PEOPLE and ALSO YOURSELF feel comfortable and happy? Maybe you have even TUTORED someone with his or her school work or TOOK THE TIME TO LISTEN to someone who needed a friend and some honest, caring advice coming from your heart.
I am sure many of you have HOBBIES too which you have shared with others to make them and also yourself happy, laugh and have fun? For example; have you ever cooked a nice meal for someone or together with them; have you played a musical instrument; played games like chess and cards; worked on a painting, construction, art, knitting or other project for yourself and for others to enjoy?
I AM SURE MANY OF YOU HAVE WRITTEN a note or a birthday card or maybe even a poem for someone which was very thoughtful and made them very happy?
I AM ALSO SURE YOU HAVE BOUGHT or made a holiday card or other greeting card for someone too?
WHY did you do these things? What made you CHOOSE to do this for someone else? Did this also make YOU FEEL GOOD TOO? Aren’t you glad you had the FREEDOM to do these things to express your special thoughts and feelings?
Just take a moment and think back to some of these FUN, KIND AND CARING THINGS YOU HAVE DONE and if you want, write them down.
[Remember, commonly those who want to take advantage of others make them feel worthless because this makes them easier to control and believe their lies too. Making a person feel like they are worthless is a common scheme Abusers use which Therapists and other Experts have repeatedly verified].
NOW, do you still do these fun, kind and caring things for this person? If not, why did you CHOOSE to stop? Do you think the other person stopped caring about you and if you do, WHY DO YOU THINK THIS?
Have you talked or email this person recently and ASKED THEM if they have stopped caring about you?
Has someone told you a story or many stories about this person which you BELIEVE WITHOUT TALKING OR EMAILING THE PERSON YOURSELF TO FIND OUT: 1) IF THESE STORIES YOU HAVE BEEN TOLD ARE TRUE and 2) that you UNDERSTAND the PERSON’S INTENTIONS?
Instead, did you just destroy this relationship WITHOUT EVEN communicating with the person to find out his or her side of this story? Do you think doing this is wise and reasonable? WERE YOU BEING THREATENED not to communicate with them? Don’t worry, all this can be changed and you NEVER HAVE TO FEAR ACTING WITH LOVE.
To begin, you have FREEDOM to make your own communications and decisions and NEVER have to follow the orders of others even if they THREATEN YOU.
For example, LOOK AT ME; I HAVE BEEN THREATENED FOR THE PAST ELEVEN YEARS to stop using the LOVE in my heart, my education, skills and experiences to End the epidemic problem of Terror called Parental Alienation in America, Israel and Worldwide. However, all these threats have made me MUCH STRONGER emotionally and also physically and HAPPIER too because I AM AWAY FROM all of the very well-documented emotional abuse intentionally inflicted upon me.
*****Of course I MISS MY CHILDREN but succumbing to their threats by giving up MY FREEDOM to use my LOVE and skills to end this terror would:
1) make me ashamed of myself and also; 2) would not guarantee that the loving and enriching companionships I shared my Children would be restored. *******
Also as my wise, compassionate and Jewish GRANDFATHER BEN taught me: Adolph Hitler could take everything material from us but; he could never take our good values and character. Therefore you must always protect them for yourself and for those who are unable.
I also know that I could have never survived all of this Terror if GOD was not walking by my side. IF YOU DO NOT BELIEVE IN GOD and BELIEVE IN SOME OTHER SUPERIOR BEING OR FORCE; then know that whatever you call this superior being or force, it will protect you too as I believe it is GOD who has been protecting me.
When you protect HUMANITY with LOVE you are DOING what GOD wants which is encouraged in Judaism, Christianity, Muslim and many other religions. Destroying LOVE is repudiated by these and many other religions too.
So with all this being said; HATRED, BELLIGERENCE and also SARCASM are common cover-ups for FEAR. In other words, people act in these ways because they are AFRAID of the truth being discovered which includes, ADMITTING TO THEMSELVES the type of person they have become.
Now, ask yourself; WHY are you the way you are?
WHAT INFLUENCES, good and bad have you had in life? Do you focus on the good ones and learn from the bad ones what not to do?
Go back to your MEMORIES and think about these questions. Maybe look at old photographs, notes and other memorabilia to help you. This may not be easy but it WILL BE WORTH IT because you will realize some of the changes you have made which maybe you should not have made. THEN you can make other changes to RESTORE the LOVE, HAPPINESS and LAUGHTER which used to be part of your life when you were HONEST and NOT PRETENDING to be someone you truly are not.
Thus, you can make NEW MEMORIES, but this time they will be with Loving and Honest INTENTIONS AND WITHOUT ANY FEAR. Don’t continue to use your “routines” to distract you from the truth and from restoring your FREEDOM and LOVE IN YOUR HEART.
Also, never be AFRAID to communicate with the person whose relationship you have destroyed especially if this person is your Mother or Father. I am sure they will have a lot of LOVE in their heart for you and would love to RESTORE the LOVE you used to share and DISCUSS any reasons you may have for NOT wanting to RESTORE your companionship.
Here is a classic song about love by very famous Stevie Wonder which may be helpful too.
Love is a wonderful feeling and please do not deprive yourself of this in your life.
As always, none is this is legal advice, I am just sharing my experiences to help others as the voice of OUR REVOLUTION to End the epidemic problem of Parental Alienation in the United States, Israel and all over the World.
-by Sara Hassman, Founder, www.PAlienation.org